but I can't count the number of times I've heard women say to me "You know

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Steve Errey writes confidence advice and works one on one with a new generation of professional women. A confidence coach with countless clients under his belt from all all over the world, Steve's had articles in gossip columns on sides of the Atlantic and regular expert slots on tv and radio. theconfidenceguyonline

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The large Problem With Climbing The Career Ladder A recent study conducted by Catherine Mosher of Duke University Medical Center and Sharon Danoff-Burg in the University of Albany (see cnn/2008/LIVING/personal/01/04/career.relationships for additional) found that 51 percent of undergraduate women prioritised romances over achievement goals, while a lot more than 61 percent in men did the same.

While that margin might not seem that giant, imagine how this same study might have turned out 10 years ago or even Five years ago. This can be a pretty new and exciting phenomenon, and it is seeing ladies making a massive effect on the workplace. It shows that women are prepared to make tough choices and strive to get into their chosen fields and organisations, and it is clear that things are shifting.

I could talk about why it's happening - the fact that today's women was raised in an era when around 50% of marriages ended in divorce, and as Washington based psychologist Ellen Klosson comments, "Women have been aware of the time pressure to establish themselves in a career before beginning a family, due to the impossibility of starting this task within their thirties and forties." - but I'm interested in what it means.

There are two significant impacts of the shift.

1. Women are thinking about families later and starting them even later. There is a bunch of apparently conflicting studies available on whether this is a Good Thing or perhaps a Very bad thing, and for now this is an issue I will park to revisit a later date (do tell me your thoughts though).

2. The larger concern I have is that there is a very real pressure for ladies to perform and deliver consistently. Nothing wrong with that at first glance and you're more than able to do exactly that, but I can't count the number of times I've heard women say to me "You know, my colleagues and my friends would all describe me as confident, however i don't feel it".

Here's what goes on. You concentrate on what you want at College, you receive a good job that pays well and challenges you. You enjoy that which you do, get promoted quickly because you're talented and deliver consistently and you will make a couple of career moves into other organisations with bigger and prospects. You accomplish a hell of the lot in a short space of time.

Then, when you begin getting closer to that big 3-0, something interesting happens. You start asking if where you are is exactly what you really want. You begin asking the length of time you can preserve running. You start asking what else there's for you. And importantly, you begin asking just who you are underneath all that achievement and success.

Sure, I'm generalising just a little here, but allow me to be really clear - I see this every single day when I'm dealing with clients and that i asked myself the very same questions.

The need to succeed and deliver is a to be applauded, but only if it means something to the individual who's putting hard graft in. Again and again I've caused ladies who have achieved great things but who don't feel it. There is a transition where the desire to achieve, move forwards and succeed in their field shifts from as being a genuine desire into habit - and that is in which the danger is.

The bottom line is that whenever the task and the success stops being personally relevant the meaning and purpose behind all you do sheds - allow that to ride for a few years and also the price is a compelling sense of who you are and what's vital that you you.

Don't fall under the same trap.